The real Star Trek
The real star
Trek? Yes, there is a real Star Trek. It exists far in the future.
It is almost identical to the Star Trek many have seen on TV and in the
movies.
How could this be?
Could this be true?
I assure you that this is very true, in fact every thing you know about
Star Trek is from the future.
Here's how this all came about.
Stephen Hawking
Yes that's right Stephen Hawking, he's the man that has brought Star Trek to us.
It all started
many years ago. Stephen Hawking was attending Trinity Hall, Cambridge and
managed to gain access
to some very top secret laboratories. While fooling around with some of
the equipment, not really knowing
anything about this equipment, he managed to create and fall into a worm
hole. Because time does not
exist in a worm hole, at least not as we know it, he found himself thrown
well into the future.
Well lets back up a bit.
A worm hole is really a place where time stops to exist. That means that
space no longer exist either.
If one was to be able to view a person in a worm hole, the person in the
worm hole would appear to be traveling at the speed of light.
This of course in not true, the person in the worm hole is not traveling
at the speed of light he in a place where time and
space do not exist.
If one was to enter a worm hole, when he exited the worm hole there is no
telling where or when he would be.
He could find himself at the center of the earth billions of years ago or
out in the middle of space far into the future.
That's just what happened to Stephen Hawking.
He was about to exit the worm hole in the middle of space far into the future.
Luckily the
Star Ship Enterprise was monitoring the time space continuum when Spock
noticed Stephen Hawking's
atomic signature on his space time riff monitor.
(Remember this
is the future, and in the future there is a real Star Ship Enterprise! Only
an idiot would believe that in the future there
would not be a Star Ship Enterprise and yes the future does exist. We know
for a fact the there is a past, present , and "future".)
This is the
conversation between Captain Kirk and the crew on the bridge of the Star
Ship Enterprise that moment
in time and space when Stephen Hawking entered the worm hole.
--------
Captain I'm picking up something very strange on my space time riff monitor.
What is it Spock? There is not supposed to be any thing in a space time
riff.
Well there is definitely something or some one there captain, and it has
a heart beat.
Spock---do you know--- what your saying? Have you gone mad? Your talking
about---a life form---
inside a worm hole! He'd be ripped apart entering the worm hole. On top
of that, he'd have to exist where time and
space didn't exist. Can you imagine what would happen to a man's mind. No
time, no space, a few seconds would seem like an eternity.
Yes captain, he'd go mad within a few seconds upon entering the worm hole.
GET HIM OUT OF THERE, Spock just get him out of there.
I don't believe we can do that. There is no time or space, to lock our transporters
onto. Although there is a
theory that if we were to enter warp speed, we ourselves would enter a place
virtually with out time or space.
I don't understand Spock? Are you saying you can't get him out! Or you can!
(in a whisper) Is there anything you understand, if I could get a dime for
every time I heard you say
"I don't understand Spock" I'd own my own Star Ship by now.
What was that Bones?
aaaaaaa I didn't say anything captain.
I believe he was calling you a retard Jim.
Why you pointed eared, green blooded, rat fink.
As you are aware Doctor, I'm a Vulcan I can not lie.
Yes but nobody ASKED YOU ANYTHING, you half breed who's father was a computer
chip and mother
was a jelly fish, smooth and soft on the out side and goo on the inside.
Did I get you mad Spock? Are
feeling a bit of emotion?
Don't fuck with me Doctor, I'll turn your mind into an ameba.
Gentlemen, gentlemen, I admit I'm a bit slow at times, but I'm the captain
of this ship, now suck on that.
Captain, in the time it took for the Doctor and I to work out our differences
any chance of saving the mind of that entity
has since gone. If I could suggest, the only logical thing to do would be
to kick back and do nothing.
Spock would that be the right thing to do? Just leave it there, suffering
for eons to come.
A mindless entity would only feel the pain, incapable of understanding that
pain.
But it would still------ feel------ the pain! That's inhuman.
Why yes Captain, that is the price we all pay for being alive. There is
no real evidence it's human.
But you said there was a heart beat?!
Why you ice blooded, stone hearted, son of a bitc.....
I told you Doctor don't fuck with me. Fuck with me again and I won't have
to tell you again.
Dammit Jim, can you get this half breed off of me.
Bones----stop fucking---- with Spock--- or------- your gonna get hurt.
Well tell him to stop touching me! He keeps touching me.
Ya
ya, Spock stop touching Bones. ----------Someone or something is out there--------in
so much pain.
That turns me on for some reason. I've------got to see the face-----of that
something that has felt that much pain!
Bones, Why would the thought of some one in so much pain make my dick hard.
You haven't been taking your pills? Have you.
A man can't live on pills BONES! SPOCK lets do that warp drive thing you
were talking about.
LETS GET THAT THING ABOARD!!! I'll be in my cabin, I've got a one eyed monster
to deal with.
--------
So the captain went to his cabin, Spock started working on the equations needed to get that thing aboard and Bones, well...
--------
Just you get sick Spock, it'll be the last time we'll have to deal with
that green blood of yours.
--------
As you can
see it's not exactly like the TV series. There are some very basic differences.
Spock doesn't like to be fucked with.
The Captain is a sick fuck.
And Bones, well just don't piss him off if you plan on getting sick.
But the Captain
has no idea how fucked up his life is about to become.
He should've taken his pill that day.
--------
A few hours
later, because the Captain fell asleep and he gets pissed if he's woken
up, Spock had worked out the
equations needed to bring the entity aboard. There was only one problem,
They need to reach a speed of warp 20.
The fastest Star Ship was the Enterprise and it's maximum speed was warp
9.
--------
Because
the Captain had not been taking his pills to control his psychoses he had
begun to lose touch with reality.
He had started to act strangely.
Spock have you worked out those calculations to get that entity on board?
Yes Captain I have. But I recommend that we just leave it where it is. It
is very likely that attempting this will kill us all.
What we are going to try to do is a mathematical impossibility. But I have
found a lope hole in the laws of physics. God himself would
call us crazy. We will have to get the ship up to warp twenty, then attempt
to beam someone aboard passing them at close to the speed
of light relative to that someone. We will have shrunk our own time and
space down to about the size of a football field. We are going to
accelerate to warp twenty, Stop on a dime as you humans would say, beam
someone aboard, snap like a rubber band back up to warp
twenty, all within the area of a football field.
Sounds like you got it under control Spock, I want to see it's face. That's
an order Spock.
Very well Captain, I'll need Scotty to effect the changes to the ship that
will need to be done. But you'll have to tell him
that he needs to get this ship up to warp twenty.
Scotty, get your butt up here.
Ey
ey Captain, on my way.
Scotty
you'll be working with Spock, I need you to get this ship up to warp twenty.
Forrrrr surerrrr yourrrrr joking Captain. Warp twenty, ita can'ta be done.
The ship, she'll break into pieces. Captain ya
got to take your pills! Ya gonna kill us all.
Pills, again with the pills. The next one who mentions pills will find himself
floating in space, NOW GET TO
THE JOB AT HAND MISTER. Spock will explain what needs to be done.
Mister Scott, I will attempt to explain to you what I plan to do.
Surly Spock, ya don believe we can get this tin bucket up to warp twenty?
Ya know it's mathematically impossible.
I know that mathematically it can't be done. Mathematics only allow us at
most warp fifteen. I don't plan to break
the laws of physics, only trick them. I'll need you to reverse the tractor
beam and setup a matter/antimatter rocket.
Arrrrrre you out of your mind? Spock maybe ya need to be taking the same
pills the Captain should be taking. You'll blow
us into the next universe.
My plan exactly. What causes our space and time to contract is acceleration
not speed. The reason a star ship can not exceed
warp fifteen is because space and time contracts to a point where the design
of the warp engines is no longer supported by the physics behind
it.
As one approaches warp twenty, space and time begin to fade. Beyond warp
twenty you no longer have space or time, you are beyond
the big bang. You are literally one with the universe. This is why it is
very important we don't exceed warp twenty. Once your in, there
is no way out.
Yourrrrrrrr
not be worrrrrying about that. Werrr'd
be lucky to hit warp nine. Spock
yourrrrrr just not making sense. Has
everyone gone crazy?
I
assure you I'm not crazy Mister Scot. Let me explain.
As I was saying,
once your in, there is no way out. You are in a worm hole.
A place where
space and time does not exist. No matter or
energy. You are nowhere and at the same time everywhere.
Everything we see, feel, and view as reality, is in fact not real. We are
an aberration caused by the distortion of matter.
Imagine a blue print of an object, in the blue print the object is taken
apart so as to show it components, now picture these components
positioned so that all sides face each other, the space between the components
would be a worm hole.
In that space between the components one is able to touch any part of the
object. But one is not part of any part of the object.
This is a worm hole.
We, on the other hand exist on the surface of the paper the blue print is
drawn on, we are effected by gravity because our components, atoms, are
part of the object.
But we and everything we know is not real. Our existence is caused by a
distortion of matter.
Gravity is like an elastic band holding all these components together. There
is nothing, really, separating matter. Space and time are a
distortion of matter. This is why Einstein could not come up with a "theory
of everything", we exist in a distortion of matter. There is no
space or time, they do not exist. Energy is simply the evaporation of matter
within this distortion. Under the right conditions energy
condenses back into matter.
When I speak of reaching warp twenty, I am speaking, in fact about creating
the acceleratory effects that would be produced by
going to warp
twenty.
Acceleratory has a profound effect on this distortion of matter. It tends
to draw one from the surface of the blue print into the worm
hole space between these components.
The entity we are trying to retrieve is in this space called a worm hole.
The entity is everywhere yet nowhere.
The maximum warp we are able to achieve is warp nine, so I plan to run us
into a black hole, as we approach the black hole, the pull
of the black hole will cause us to begin to accelerate, as we accelerate
we will approach warp ten, we will then blast the matter/antimatter
rocket which hopefully will have the power to ricochet us back with equal
and opposite force, giving us the acceleratory effect
of warp twenty. This will bring us virtually at the skin of the worm hole.
At which point we will have nano seconds to beam the entity aboard.
Yes, with the acceleratory effect of warp twenty it will bring us close
enough to zero space and time which will allow us to lock
onto the entity and beam it aboard. You'rrrrr a genus Spock.
Don't
start celebrating yet, if the rocket blast doesn't kill us the force of
instantly going to warp twenty should splatter
us across the universe. So if you can start working on the matter/antimatter
rocket I'll get us heading towards the black hole. If you
need me I'll be on the bridge.
I'm already on it Spock.
Spock
returns to the bridge and orders Sulu to head for the nearest Black hole.
Meanwhile Bones has been working on a drink for the Captain.
This should bring the Captain back to his senses. I've got to get him to
drink this before he kills us all. I just don't
understand how Star Fleet could've make him a Captain knowing he's a psychopath.
And Spock just does what ever he says.
Bones this is good, what did you call it? Tea for the tiller man?
You should start to feel better in just a bit Jim.
Better,
why I feel just fine Bones, what ever do you mean Doctor.
Bones you've poisoned me! You won't get away with this, they'll catch you
and lock you away.
No
I haven't poisoned you Jim (Bones says with a laugh), I've just mixed you
up an anti psycho, get your head on right, back to
reality drink.
Mean while, back on the bridge.
Spock
we're beginning to feel the effects of the black hole.
Very good Sulu,
stay on course and bring us up to maximum warp. Scotty how are we coming
with the matter/antimatter
rocket
.
Almost there, just need a few more minutes.
Very good scotty, let me know when your ready. Sulu how long before we reach
warp ten.
We should reach warp ten in about five minutes.
Scotty you've got less then five minutes, please hurry or we'll be flying
down the throat of a black hole never to return.
Transporter room, I've set the computer to automatically beam the entity
aboard at the precise moment. Sulu after the rocket blast
and on my orders I want you to throw the engines into reverse at maximum
warp.
Meanwhile the Doctors concoction has started to work on the Captain.
What's been going on, what am I doing here. I feel like I've been in a dream
world. Something about a worm hole, an entity.
Bones have I been having an episode?
Well Jim, lets just say, you haven't been yourself lately.
Just then the ship begins to shake and trembler.
What's that, what's happening to my ship. BONES WHATS GOING ON.
We're doing what you asked us to do, we're bringing the ship up to warp
twenty to beam this entity aboard from the
worm hole.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, THIS SHIP CAN'T TAKE WARP TWENTY! Who in their
right mind would
try and take this ship up to warp twenty. Bones answer me. ANSWER ME DOCTOR!
Those were your orders Jim. Spock told you it was crazy, but you insisted.
Jim we were all just following your orders!
"Spock" that pointed eared computer. I've got to get to the bridge
before it's too late.
Meanwhile on the bridge.
Spock we are approaching warp ten.
Scotty get ready, on my order Scotty, five, four, three, two, now Scotty
fire the rocket.
As
if the ship was slammed against a huge stone wall everything and every one
is thrown
all over the place. Everything turns blue, smoke and fire coming from every
instrument. Just then the Captain comes on the bridge.
Spock STOP, STOP WHAT YOUR DOING RIGHT NOW, THAT'S AN ORDER.
Not now Captain, transporter room have you beamed the entity aboard? That's
good, Sulu now, Sulu reverse engines.
Belay that order Mister. Spock, stop what your doing or I'll have you up
on charges.
Sulu reverse those engines now, Jim if we don't reverse the engines now
we may never get back, we may
already be too late. Captain NOW!
Sulu, reverse the engines.
Ey, ey Captain.
The ship begins to slow, colors begin to shine where there was only a blue hue.
DAMAGE REPORT,
ALL STATIONS REPORT. Transporter room, please bring what ever was transported
aboard
to the sick bay.
Sulu, give me the current time and date.
Spock there's no time and date?
What---do ---you --- mean there's no time and date?
I mean just that, there's no time and date. There's nothing on the read
out panel. It's blank. What does this mean Spock?
I was afraid of this, when the Captain caused us to delay, even though it
was only for seconds, the reversal of the engines
it caused us to lose our way back. Where we are now is anybodies guess.
We are lost in both time and space. We are in real trouble.
Why did you do this Spock, you knew the Captain was gagas. Your not a machine,
you should throw all that logic shit out
and start living like a human, not a green blooded, pointed eared, half
breed, puppet for the Captain.
Yes, Spock you knew I was gagas.
Star Fleet's Code of Conduct requires me to obay the Captains orders.
I------admit-----I should have taken my pills, as they used to say in the
21 centry, "My Bad". But 'Spock' use
your head. Look I made a funny.
The crew laughs.
I fail to see the humor, we are in real trouble. We may never find a way
back.
Yes yes, real trouble? Sulu plot a course back to Star Fleet. U'hura send
a sub space message to Star Fleet and let them
know we are coming.
Captain, our preploted courses need a star date to engage. There's no star
date.
Well, manually plot a course Sulu or have you forgotten how?
Mister Spock, I don't seem to be able to pick up any transmissions. It's
as if there's nothing out there.
As well you shouldn't, we are no longer in the space and time we are from.
What are you trying to say Spock. Just spit it out man!
What I'm trying to say Captain is that we will never see home again. The
pause in reversing the engines has forever
sent us into another time and space. The fact that U'hura is unable to reach
any one is fact that we have been sent very far into the
future or very far into the past. I have personally check the communications
equipment, it is working fine.
Spock, you pointed eared, green blooded, boob, what have you done with my
ship.
I was simply following YOUR orders Captain. Star Fleet's Unified System
of Command dictates that I follow your orders
even if you were to be found insane. You yourself helped create these regulations,
claiming that, what if the whole ship was insane
and not the captain, that these regulations would stop a potential mutiny.
Yes----so I did. Well remind me, if we should ever find our way home, to
have those regulations rewritten. But for now, lets
go down to sick bay to get a gander at what caused this whole mess. Doctor,
that means you too. Spock we'll need those pointed
ears of your to try and
figure this out. But first I got to take this monster
piss, I'll meet you'll down in sick bay.
So
Kirk, spock and Mc'coy meet down in sick bay to get a look at what they
have beamed aboard.
Little do they know that they are about to meet the creator of Star Trek.
Not the real Star Trek but the TV series, Star Trek.
TO BE CONTINUED
